Normally we don’t do advertisements, but due to the… ongoing situation at Atlas, money’s been tight. Not only that, but it also appears that I’m stuck here as well, since all traffic coming from or to Atlas is prohibited – which means I can’t do much journalisting around Remnant. Therefore, I decided to promote this advertisement as not only a healthy boost to a local Atlesian business, but also to our future, as it seems the ad is about helping kids or something. The following is taken verbatim from the owner of the ad. -K. Blanche.

Have you got a child that sits around doing nothing all day? Wish they were a useful contributor to society while also learning valuable skills? We here at the newly-reopened prestigious Glass Unicorn Hotel have the solution for you!

Your child may be eligible* to work for us in the luxurious Glass Unicorn Hotel, receiving food, shelter, training and purpose in life, all the while making sure the Hotel is a nicer, cleaner place. And the best part? YOU’RE the one getting the money! So what are you waiting for? Check below if your child is eligible, sign the quick and easy form, transfer your guardian status to us and leave everything in our very capable hands. But that’s not all! If you mention the promotional code “Vytal News” when you sign up, you will also receive a Golden Carriage Card, which entitles you to a 5% discount for all Regular and Luxury suites AND free parking for your ground vehicle. Be sure to visit the Glass Unicorn Hotel in the upper levels of Atlas or contact us at GlassUnicorn on ScrollShare and put your child – and yourself – towards a better future!

Child eligibility requirements:

  • Employee must be between the ages of 8 and 14;
  • Employee must have at least 3 years of experience in floor cleaning, dish washing, laundry, cooking, serving. Retail and customer support experience welcome;
  • Employee MUST NOT be resistant to electricity;
  • Employee must have little to no homicidal tendencies;
  • Ability to read is not required;
  • Ability to count is not encouraged.

Due to the nature of child labor laws, the employee will receive bread (and even water for occasions) as compensation for work, but will not receive Lien, as the work is considered ‘volunteer work’. A one-time payment will be given to the legal parents or guardians for the guardian rights transfer. In case of street urchin, the one-time payment will instead be donated to the employee’s charity of choice.

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By Kerry Blanche

Kerry is a Beacon survivor and all-around fun guy. Kerry loves history, but can also appreciate what he has right now - an extraordinary leader in James Ironwood. Kerry isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions and dig deep to find the REAL truth.

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